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Nearly 500 miles of data-transmitting cable will make Neptune Canada's new Pacific Ocean observatory the largest of its kind. Underwater cameras will also capture seafloor wildlife.Video

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http://londonist.com/2009/12/in_pictures_courvoisier_architechtu.php

       

It's hard to think about an objective review when you're floating on 4,000 litres of pungent mauve cocktail, becoming slightly dizzy as you spin around on your orange raft and the heady smell of punch wafts into your nostrils. In fact, it's very hard to think anything but 'wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!'

The Courvoisier Architectural Punch Bowl, staged by the endlessly creative Bompass & Parr, was a joy to visit. Perched in a townhouse designed by the great Robert Adam, the punch bowl was a swimming pool-sized vat of fruity cocktail, whose hints of winter spice were perfect to combat the chilly day outside. The event aimed to recreate the oversized punch served by admiral Edward Russell to 6,000 guests in 1694, although the modern version did have the added bonus that guests could clamber aboard a giant, garnish-shaped raft and bob around on top of it. (We were, admittedly, relieved to note the strict regulations against swimming in the punch - we're not sure the average Londoner would have added anything to the flavour..)

Overall, it was a fun experience which confirmed Bompass & Parr's reputation as the kings of pop-up, although if they do ever want to expand on the concept further we think it would be an awesome idea for the next series of Takeshi's castle.

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http://londonist.com/2009/12/permanent_memorial_for_jean_charles.php

Four and a half years after Jean Charles de Menezes was shot and killed by armed police, a permanent memorial will be placed for him at Stockwell tube station where he died. The confirmation of permission for the memorial to be erected came yesterday, which was fittingly International Human Rights Day.

The large colourful tile mosaic memorial has been made by local artist Mary Edwards with help from Menezes' cousins. This will replace the temporary tributes - candles, photos, handwritten notes and flowers - that have been placed outside the tube station since his death. TfL has granted permission for the permanent tribute at the station after hundreds of signatures were gathered in a petition for a memorial was organised by Menezes' family. Family, friends and special guests will be present at the unveiling of the memorial on 7 January 2010, the date Menezes would have turned 31.

Image shows detail from photo of temporary memorial outside Stockwell tube station by Simon K from the Londonist Flickr pool

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http://londonist.com/2009/12/theatre_review_morecambe_the_duches.php

Bob Golding plays Morecambe at the Duchess Theatre this Christmas

1. Do you think Jimmy Carr's comic technique of quick one-liners is

a) new, unique, and a bit hard to follow
b) part of a wonderful, near-ancient music-hall heritage of fantastic comics that you love to see perform. If only he did a bit less of that swearing

2. Someone gives you a paper bag. Do you

a) recycle it
b) feel an irresistible urge to hold the bag open with one hand, look for a suitable audience, pull an imaginary ball from your pocket with the other hand, which you curve into the air, eyes wide, ready to perform that gag...

3. When it comes to theatre attendance, are you

a) always heading to BAC or Shunt to see the latest experimental theatre in London?
b) my dad?

Morecambe is the theatrical equivalent of nostalgia TV channels like G.O.L.D. There's little new or original here, but it does make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

"What do you think of it so far?" Eric asks, eyebrows waggling, Bob Golding's impersonation accurate to a tee. "Rubbish!" last night's audience (which included David Baddiel, Alistair McGowan, Dave Gorman, Matthew Kelly and Lionel Blair) chorused back with uniform glee.

Tim Whitnall's loving homage to the great British comic takes in Eric Morecambe's early life (as Eric Bartholomew, supported by a kindly, if pushy, mother), his first meeting with Ernie Wise (aged 15 and 16), their success in the Music Halls coupled with periods of unemployment and National Service. The play incorporates their early failure on TV (The People wrote "Definition of a TV set: the box they buried Morecambe and Wise in"), the heart attacks, the family life, the writers, and of course, the way they somehow came to achieve audience numbers of 28 million on Christmas Day in 1977. Can you imagine half the UK's population all doing the same thing at once today? Terrifying.

We could tell you about the glasses, the gags, the Ernie puppet, the songs, the accents, the wonderful way Bob Golding peoples the stage with a crowd of Morecambe's family, agents, fans, and other showbiz legends (Brucie for one) so this doesn't actually feel like a one-man show, but really, none of this matters. If you answered b) to all the above, chances are you've got your tickets already.

Morecambe plays at The Duchess Theatre until 17 January. Tickets from £22. Call 0844 579 1973 or book online.

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http://londonist.com/2009/12/all_systems_go_for_team_gb.php

Thanks to a hefty cash injection from Visa's sponsorship of umbrella organisation Team 2012 it now looks like Team GB will be able to field competitors in every possible sport at the 2012 Olympics. Things were looking ropey not long ago but now every marginal sport will receive additional funding. Um, apart from table tennis. Can we blame this unexplained omission on Boris's Beijing wiff waff gaffe? Seems ping pong won't be coming home after all.

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http://londonist.com/2009/12/comedy_review_stewart_lee_leicester.php

Image copyright Gavin Evans

Because Stewart Lee, should you be young or unfortunate enough not to have encountered him in his younger, more televisually exposed days with Richard Herring, is an exquisite satirist. His laid-back, sarcastic manner suggests someone who doesn't care, but if you listen to the actual words (the words, Daily Mail) it's clear that he's pained by the facile and knee-jerk elements of our society - which he then adopts and rips apart from the inside. The effect is subtle but the method is confrontational; he faces down the audience and takes us to task for laughing at unusual moments, stopping to explain the structure of one particular joke, breaking it down into its constituent parts. Meta-comedy, if you like.

We've also got to take a moment to mention his style. That repetitious style that's so very literary. We've got literate comedians, who might chuck in a reference to Dryden or Joyce, but Lee has a rhythm to his routines that's almost poetic in its meter. And it's a measure of his talent that, even with the careful and lengthy build-up, the punchline still catches you off guard. Yes, he's clever, but not - as so often accused - clever-clever.

But what you really want to know is: is he funny? Of course he is. Would we have rambled on for several paragraphs of gushing praise if we'd sat there stony-faced, silently appreciating form and phrase? It's not a book reading. Laughs are first and foremost, provoked by a man in complete control of his craft. This really is a show you cannot miss.

Stewart Lee is on at the Leicester Square Theatre, 6 Leicester Place, until 17 January, 7.30pm (4.30pm Sundays). Tickets £15-£20. For more information see the Leicester Square Theatre website.

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http://londonist.com/2009/12/photo_of_the_day_caption_required_3_1.php

It's the little people that often get overseen in our big city. What do they get up too? Captions in comments please.

"They walk among us" by bltphoto via the Londonist Flickrpool.

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http://londonist.com/2009/12/parkin_around_the_christmas_tree.php

It'll come as a surprise to precisely no-one that some London councils are planning on imposing parking fines on Boxing Day. The fact that it falls on a Saturday has sent local authorities into a tailspin of confusion, meaning that around half of them recognise it as a public holiday whereas the others have decided not to. This consistency-free approach isn't unusual in the capital with a variety of punitive measures across boroughs ready to trap the unwary and unlucky. Driving Home For Christmas? Just remember that Last Christmas Boxing Day was on a Friday and this year could be a Blue Christmas for some motorists. Photo by bendylan

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http://londonist.com/2009/12/how_to_park_your_car_in_16_mathemat.php

The back of an envelope, yesterday.

You can tell it's going to be one of those stories right away. The article (in the Telegraph, who should know better) starts with the tell-tale 'UK boffins...'. Sigh. This time round, said boffins come from Royal Holloway College, London...and they've developed a mathematical equation that tells us how small a parking space can be to allow ingress of any given car. The formula, scrawled above, contains such terms as the radius of your car's turning circle (r), wheel base (l), distance from centre of front wheels to tip of car (k) and the width of the adjacent parked car (w). Misogynists will be disgruntled to note that gender has been factored out of the formula.

Now, any time you see a news story about a ridiculous equation, it's a sure bet that there's a company's PR team lurking somewhere behind it. Indeed, we'd develop our own equation to calculate the probability of this being the case, if only some betting company would pay us to do it. Sure enough, the parking equation coincides with a motoring survey from a well-known car manufacturer that shares its name with an area of south London. The survey, whose size and distribution are not given in the press, reveals that 15% of people find parking the biggest challenge of the festive period, while 37% would rather drive on to a more expensive parking space than attempt a tricky manoeuvre. This really is awesome research. Give that team a Fields Medal.

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http://londonist.com/2009/12/first_30_minutes_free_for_cycle_hir.php

By Funny Cyclist via the Londonist Flickrpool

Indeed, for multiple short hops across the city in one day it's looking like pretty good value. A quid upfront gets you access to the Blikes and if you return yours to a docking station within 30 minutes, there's no extra charge. Even better value if you pay the £5 weekly or £45 monthly charge.

TFL's journey planner reckons you can get from London Bridge to Hyde Park in 27 minutes and Tower Hill to Bond Street in 23 minutes. As long as you can pinpoint one of the 400 docking stations, which should be found every 300m or so, as Boris says, "it's amazing how far your bike can take you in 30 minutes if you put in a bit of pedal power."

Should you get waylaid with your Darko, however, you'll be charged £35 for up to 6 hours with the maximum daily charge £50. Payments will be made by credit or debit cards to ensure late return and lost or damaged fees can be easily extracted and 'non-members' (daily and weekly users) will have to have a £150 pre-authorisation check on their card by way of deposit.

Still, with some citysense and a route in mind, we reckon the Bulkobikes could prove both nifty and thrifty. What journeys could you nail in that golden 29 minutes?

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